A View from the Edge

I am now in my third year of Medicine, a year of transition from being a student to a medical clerk/intern. What scares me is the thought of my passion not being enough to survive in this so-called profession. Every single day, it seems my view of the future becomes hazy. The constant struggle to commit to that promise of my future self is really a difficult one. But, is it all worth it?

Many may say you are lucky since only a few can pursue such a profession. The term 'lucky' seems vague to me. Am I lucky that I have to study day and night? Am I lucky that I have to succumb to such a hierarchical culture? Am I lucky that I have to suck it up until I get that MD? If we get to flip the coin, we can ask, am I lucky that I get to serve people every single day of my life? Am I lucky that I get to help people at such crucial points in their lives? Am I that lucky that I get to touch people in a different but special way?

Conflicting, satisfying, annoying. These are my current feelings about medicine. I am learning so much that my heart grows weaker as my mind becomes stronger. The irony.

This is my view from the edge. It's I either take a step back and pursue another course or decide to jump in into the abyss.