Take a Step Back and Breathe

Almost one and a half months have passed since the announcement of the board exam passing. Where am I now? I have decided to take the USMLE Step 1 on the third or fourth week of January, then Step 2 CK on May and Step 2 CS on the second week of July. How am I feeling about this? I feel calm about it. However, I get some points of hesitations since I have to study everything all over again (well not really all over again). This review is like my refresher course to Medicine since I have just recently took the board exam in the Philippines.

What am I glad bout now is my opportunity to come up with a team building workshop for a group of high school boys. My constant calling for a "gig" like this suddenly came true. I was lucky enough that one of my batchmates thought about me in helping this group. Hopefully, this would turn out well since I am a little bit rusty given the 2-year delay of without practice.

I have also attended an volunteer orientation seminar in Kythe so I can be a part of their volunteer pool (officially). One of the steps that I proposed to take is to go back to Kythe. Why? Since it is where my affirmation to take up medicine started. Maybe I just need to take my white coat off for a while and let it rest for the meantime. Wearing a different set of spectacles might clear things a bit.

Being saturated with the same things can be nauseating.

My decision to continue Medicine as a 2nd year medical student forced me to swallow my own vomit over and over again until I got to finish it until the licensure examination. Yes, I know many would be annoyed since it is a privilege to be a doctor and to even pass the boards. Being in the world of Medicine for quite some time, I would say I have only met a few passionate doctors. Maybe some may argue on this terminology so let me define this. Passion means an overflowing emotion that one could not contain and could not help but spread it to other people. I have met a few such as Dr. Erric Cinco, Dr. Chris Soriano, Dr. Jun Cuenca, Dr. Joma Bravo, Dr. Cenon Alfonso. I believe passionate people are moved to look at things at a different light. They have managed to show that Medicine is not all about the books, agonizing rounds, egotistic consultants... they have showed that Medicine can be fun. It may be an old science but it is still new everyday. What?! How can it be both old and new? The old part is very much obvious. Medicine is new every day since more discoveries are announced, research done by the minute...keeping many doctors still confused in perfecting this art. That is why doctors constantly study even after the licensure examination, residency and fellowship. Yup, it does not end. However, I guess in any profession where you would wish to be successful, learning will never end.

I am just thankful that my parents supported the little old penniless me through my studies. Maybe one can question why I got burned out...well it happens. It happened to me now. I have kept my worries to myself for a long time that I feel like a candle burning the remaining parts of its wick. Some may call it a quarterlife crisis. It is good that this is happening to me before I make any form of commitment to any program. Yes, I will be delayed in my training by a year or two. But all is planned in His time. I will trust in Your slow work. This time I am now listening.